We are back to the evening before Trent texted himself out of my life. it is a Sunday, and Trent and I are with Ben and Cara celebrating over our latest gig at Third Place, which we performed earlier that same evening.

The mood is good, and we're having a great time laughing about just about any lame joke, although we all know it's because we're euphoric from the standing ovation we got from the crowd and admirers talking to us after we walked off stage.

Ben plays the drums, Cara sings along with trent, who also plays guitar, while I work the keyboards. We make a formidable team most Sundays, either jamming or playing at this outlet four friend of ours started some years back that has the unique circumstance of being a drinking place that doesn't sell alcohol.

The idea of Third Place was based on the concept of Ray Oldenburg's third place being one of pleasure and relaxation (the first place being the home, the second being the workplace) and the need for Christians and non-drinkers alike to hang out and listen to great music, besides the place being an outlet for showcasing music by kids whose music probably wouldn't be found out otherwise because they'd be too young to enter pubs.

They have a stage, audience area, non-alcoholic drinks and light snacks and -- here's the best part -- several jamming studios upstairs, albeit with average sound accoustics. So the four of us finish up our supper and laughter eventually, pack our gear and Ben drives his lady Cara off while Trent gives me a lift before heading to his girlfriend's (she doesn't want to come, as usual).

So we're in the car, talking in general before launching into specifics -- specifically his girlfriend. "Yeah, Mei Ling would've snorted if she'd been in the audience today when that girl handed me the flowers on stage, " he says, before giving a wry laugh. And then that silence that I know so well. Eventually I punctuate it, exactly like how it happened that night.

"So uh, how are you guys doing?"

(scratches his head with one hand while holding onto the steering wheel in the other) "We're okay. She's still...a bit...a bit insecure though. She actually cried on the phone when we were getting ready to go up earlier." (sighs)

"Oh...so that's why you took so long in the bathroom." (slight pause) "So she's still having that separation anxiety thing?"

(frowns and looks at me briefly) "It's not a Separation Anxiety Thing."

"But wasn't that what you called it the other day?"

"I didn't, okay!" (awkward pause) "Well maybe I did...I don't wanna talk about it."

"Okay." (I turn my head away and look out the passenger window)

"You know, you don't have to act that way. I mean, I'm taking the effort to drive you back, okay?" (gives me a sideways glance"

(I turn around to face him) "I'm not acting any way. Look, if it's such a big deal, stop the car now and I'll get out!"

Trent meets my gaze for a good while, then looks straight ahead.

The car continues moving, probably because there are vehicles behind us anyway. But this is where the dream gets different.

The conversation actually continues.

"Did you know you are such a thorn between Mei Ling and I? What are you trying to do, get between us?"

(I look at him, shocked) "No, you know who I am and you know I'm not that kind of person! And why are you bringing this up now, I thought you were fine with always driving me back?"

(Exhales) "I was...but now, I don't know."

(Long silence, I don't know what to say so I don't say anything.)

At this point we stop at a red light and looks me in the eye expectantly. I stare back at him, wondering what is it that he is expecting. The pressure of that moment builds up.

And then I wake up, although it takes a few seconds for my mind to register the dark silhouette of my room's ceiling and the whirring fan in the dark, somewhere. I lie awake for a few minutes, wondering what the dream meant and if it had any credit to real life. Then I close my eyes and drift back to sleep.

When I finally do get up a few hours later for work, I feel pretty bummed about having the dream, because obviously it gets me thinking about him all day and remembering the fact that we're not speaking to each other any more.

What really happened that night was that our conversations did continue, but in our heads and without each other's participation. It filled our minds as we sat in the car for the remaining few minutes of the journey, until I reached my second home (more like a 'second room', rather, since I only rent a room and the rest of the home belongs to my landlord and his young family) and said a brief "bye" before closing the car door.

The following day, during lunchtime at work, I got a text message from Trent simply stating:

And that was it, that was the last contact I ever had from him, at least directly. Tried calling back, obviously, but he didn't pick up, obviously. I then texted him back asking him what was going on and whether we could work this out. I never received a reply.

All this happened three years ago yet here it is, still in my head, an taped video recording of what Trent sounded and looked like, and what happened that last night of us as a full band together, before he left.

The last I heard of him (from a mutual friend) was that he married his girlfriend, had a kid with her and settled down somewhere in Perth. So now he has a two-year-old running around somewhere with her mother in the land of the kangaroos and wombats. It's so strange thinking of this, because I always thought I'd be at his wedding, since he used to talk about it often enough.

I thought I'd be a permanent fixture in his life as he was in mine, that I'd drop by his place frequently and babysit his kids when him and the wife went out (this was subject to change in the unlikely likelihood that I ever got married and had my own family to tend to, and to the fact that he never mentioned moving overseas in his family dreams for the future). We went through so much in the 5 years that we stuck through thick and thin together and I thought we'd remain forever friends.

Looks like I was wrong, and years later I'm still trying to get over whatever it is I might have done wrong (to this day, I still don't know exactly what it was, because the problem with me getting a lift from him or bringing up his girlfriend's separation anxiety issues were just peripherals and clearly not the main reason why he cut ties with me).

I get through the rest of work that day mechanically.